Hey you out there … yes … you. Are you looking for a pet armadillo? Or a cure for Frothy Toenail disease? Then you’ve come to the wrong place. But if you’re here to check out some books, have a laugh or learn how to become a children's writer, you might want to stick around.
Did you know that crocodiles eat rocks? Or that ancient Romans used powdered mouse brains for toothpaste?
Me neither. Not until I started writing books and discovering all sorts of weird and wacky facts. Guess where you can buy prickle pear ice-cream? This book will tell you (if you ask it nicely).
Joke of the week ...
A sandwich walked into a shop.
"Sorry," said the assistant. "We don't serve food here."
Look around. Have fun!
Oh ... I forgot to say ... if you are a budding children's writer (of the adult variety) check out my new book cryptically entitled Become a Children's Writer. Someone who was paid no money whatsoever (only movie coupons) said: 'Become a Children's Writer' is the most expensive er, ... extensive book of its kind in the known galaxy.
And a very different someone (with smaller writing) said:
'Become a Children's Writer' is the sort of thing your teacher suggests when you wear slippers to school (especially growly ones with gorilla faces).
Finally, a Real Person (who shall remain shameless) has this to say about 'Become a Children's Writer'...
I found 'Become a Children's Writer' buried under a pile of compost. Quite a feat for an electronic book. I was so impressed I bought a copy instantly and have not been disappointed. This nifty book is better than yoghurt for heating up the compost pile.
And just when you thought there was nothing left to say about this enchanting masterpiece, an internationally renowned celebrity said:
'Become a Children's Writer' is sick. And also wicked.
Signed Captain Underpants.
© This text is by Jill McDougall, award-winning author of the prestigious JILL MCDOUGALL AWARD FOR BEST BOOK BY JILL MCDOUGALL (three years in a row).